Director Uwe Boll Challenges Film Critics To A Duel
Posted on June 14, 2006
Uwe Boll is widely known as one of the world's worst directors...after all, who else would have cast Tara Reid as an archeologist? And having just come straight from a viewing of BloodRayne on DVD, well, let's just say that his reputation is intact. Here are a few highlights: Ben Kingsley is a vicious vampire who has a climactic fight with Kristanna Loken who is a half-vampire, half-human. This amazing film also starred Lost's Michelle Rodriguez sporting a British accent and lots of black leather, as well as Meat Loaf in drag cavorting with naked women. Sound like fun? It actually was, for the first two-thirds of the film. But, alas, we hit the last third and somehow the movie just kind of trailed off into incoherency. After her big fight, the heroine just sits there with a blank look on her face while we get a seemingly endless flashback of every body part being cut off, while fake blood spurts everywhere. No resolution. No closure. Nothing. For this we have followed the lithesome Lokanna all over medieval Romania?
We apologize if that summary made absolutely no sense. But, believe us, if you see the film, it will. But back to the Duel of the Ages...
We won't be accepting the challenge because we feel fairly sure we'll have a prior engagment for whatever the date of the fight is. We did have one positive thing to say about BloodRayne: Kristanna Loken is in excellent shape.Uwe is now challenging the critics that failed to watch his films prior to reviewing or commenting, "TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP!" On July 17th, 2006 Uwe will start filming his next feature film, Seed, starring Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller, Michael Pare & Andrew Jackson. Following that film he will go into production in late September with another feature called Postal. Both movies will be shot in Vancouver, BC, Canada.
Towards the end of the filming of the Postal the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.
To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines/newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered.
All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.